Read the text and for questions 1 to 8 decide if the statements are true or false.
Should motherhood define me?
Most of my friends and colleagues in my age range, late-thirties to early forties, have already crossed their finish line. They have a husband –not often the best choice– and one or two children, which they eagerly display on the one and only place where I can meet them nowadays, Facebook or Instagram.
For most women, motherhood is what makes them complete, the ultimate fulfilment; I get it, and it’s OK. But I don’t need these women to bully me into trying to find a partner “before my biological clock stops ticking”. “Try going on dating apps,” they say. “It worked for me.” OK, congratulations. But I hated it –men lied, and they were rude and disrespectful.
More importantly, of course I wouldn’t mind finding a partner, a kind, sweet, and –why not– handsome guy who I’d fall in love with hard. But for me, finding true love would be an end in itself, something I’d like to treasure and enjoy, and not just a necessary step to have the children I’m supposed to have. Because, of course, if you are a woman, you have to have children, and not only that, you have to want to have children.
What if I don’t want children? Because so far, I haven’t heard the call of nature and, to be honest, I don’t think I ever will. Since I was a little girl I’ve been posed questions that started with, “When you get married…”, “When you have children…” And I have always felt disconnected from this reality that I am supposed to live. No, I don’t think I will get married –although I want to find love– and no, I might not want kids.
But shush, a woman can’t say that she doesn’t want kids too loud, because that’s often understood as a betrayal to human nature, and a true act of selfishness. Yes, women who don’t want to be mothers are said to be selfish, or even worse, they are believed to hate children, which is very, very suspicious in a female. You should never trust a woman who doesn’t want motherhood to define her. Then, I think I am not to be trusted because, for the time being, I’d rather continue being an incomplete woman.
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